Square Paws Introduces its Newest Venture!
Due to increasing demand, Square Paws will be developing human-sized cat towers starting April 1st. "Apparently, it's what the people want," says Square Paws CEO, Mario Arbore. Jane Abernathy is just one such client.
"Cats shouldn't have ALL the fun," Abernathy says. "I see Fluffy and Mr. Scuttleshanks climbing and jumping all over and in and out of their Square Paws towers, and there's just not enough room for ME!" Jane continued, "Cat lovers have needs just like cats in so many ways. We need places to file our fingernails; we need to survey our environment from on high (so as to spot any predators); and, of course, we need 20 hours of sleep in any given 24 hour cycle."
Mr. Arbore attributes this to the ever-growing trend to seek out simpler, sustainable, single-room dwellings. "It can reduce not only the carbon footprint, but the carbon PAW print, as well," he cites.
"Our recent, and very popular model, the Mousetrap, will be scaled up ten times to accommodate human occupancy and will include running water and cooking facilities. But, of course, stairs would take up too much space and thereby ruin the proportions of the design, so.... Well, I guess people will just have to learn to jump six times higher than they're currently capable of." Scratching his chin, Arbore adds, "It's clearly not for everyone; it's a lifestyle choice. But these human cat-towers WILL meet the highest architectural standards!"
Happy April Fools' Day, everyone!
And, truth be told, there just might be some human-scaled items that Square Paws creates in the near future. Stay tuned!